Remembering a very special ladybug. . .

Since 99.9% of the people who read my lil' ol blog have been touched by China adoption in some way, I will spare you the legend of the ladybug and it's significance to adoptive parents. A lot of us have a special ladybug story, and I have a few of my own. But there is one very special little ladybug who changed the course of our lives five years ago this week.

It was the spring of 2003 that God moved our hearts towards adoption. There were specific people and events that He placed in our path and made it clear that our child was waiting for us. It was also at this very same time that a birthmother (in a part of China that I never knew existed until our referral) was discovering she was pregnant. She probably already knew that she may not be able to raise this baby as her own. But she chose life, nonetheless. For that reason alone, a faceless woman whom I will never know will always have my eternal gratitude and a special place in my heart.

Eric and I made the decision to adopt on one fateful afternoon in March 2003. But we took several weeks to research the options, international vs. domestic and which international program best suited us. I spent endless hours on the internet gathering facts. From the very beginning, my heart was drawn to China. Russia was a close contender. We were seriously considering both countries, weighing the pros and cons of each. In my internet research, I had stumbled upon the Ladybug Legend and thought it was all very cute, but I was focused on facts, not superstitions.

Eric had pretty much left all of the research up to me. He just wanted to know what we needed to know, make a decision and move forward. I am not sure that he felt a heartstring pulling in any particular direction. But I did. Everytime I thought of this child, I imagined a little Asian girl with a sparkling smile. (Funny how the 1st thing everyone notices about our daughter is her amazing smile & dimples!) So one afternoon in late April, as Eric and I were driving out of the neighborhood, I immediately launched into a conversation about our adoption. I was telling him that I really felt like our child was a little girl in China. As I am telling him this, we were driving past a certain neighbor's house (who would later host my baby shower for Linzi!) and I looked out my window to see a ladybug clinging to the outside of my window! That was my sure sign that THIS was the path God was leading us toward. When we came to the stop sign, I rolled down my window and set her free. That random little ladybug was my beacon, pointing us in the direction of our daughter. I have never been more sure of anything in my life than I was that particular day. It took another 18 months before I would actually hold her in my arms. But on that day, my daughter was born in my heart. What is even more amazing, is that based on her age, it is quite possible that she was conceived or the pregnancy was discovered about that same exact time.

And now that I am on the flip side of this story, five years later, I am still amazed, humbled and honored that I have been given such a beautiful gift. And I believe with all my heart that God sent that little ladybug to nudge us in the direction that He had planned for us all along.

Right after we came home, a ladybug got into our house and I had to get
this picture of Linzi & her ladybug who almost crawled into her mouth!

And of course, that smile of hers ~ it is sparkles even more than I had imagined!